I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Success! We fucked roommates!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
