nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
