I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
