If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
