I bet he comes in French.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
zippers are such a cool invention
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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