dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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