you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
