Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize