she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The beer is more important than you right now.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
