I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
