She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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