he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
