can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
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