My Higher Power is John Stamos
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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