threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
