one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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