# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Randomize
