Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
