This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize