I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
This is classic penis vs brain.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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