And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
