just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
