I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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