Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
