Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
My life is pants optional.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
