i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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