It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
