what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
