Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
