oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
