____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
