Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry fatuous hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(205): View more from Alabama

I only kidnapped one of them. chill

Fav 10 3316 1007
share tweet
(870): View more from Arkansas

These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.

Fav 15 4297 892
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(520): View more from Arizona

Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.

Fav 18 3166 1331
share tweet
(716): View more from New York

Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.

Fav 49 1032 5740
share tweet
(519): View more from Ontario

Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.

Fav 69 12519 1296
share tweet
(970): View more from Colorado

Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better

Fav 26 2122 5107
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(915): View more from Texas

when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up

Fav 23 3983 1740
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(585): View more from New York

How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?

Fav 2 294 491
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

The ass gains better be worth it

Fav 0 37 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT