i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
