im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
