Me too!
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I bet he comes in French.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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