I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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