Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
