Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
