I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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