my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
