Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize