Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
