so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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