12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
