You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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