She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
