What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
