So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
