I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
