nut hugger
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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