We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
