I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
