I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
