I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize