I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
