Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
When did angry sex become our thing?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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