I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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