so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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