I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
