What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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