me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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