i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
