my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
