it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
