Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
