I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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