I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
