she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
