Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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