DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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