Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
