I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
