When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
