dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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