My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
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