their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
