fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
This is the high leading the old right now
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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