"it" just moved
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
